Don't share your plans
Do ever out of excitement go and tell all your friends what you're working on - & then, instant regret.
Hey there,
On a random Saturday afternoon, I decided to announce to the world a little secret I had been keeping to myself for a while. It sounds dramatic, I know, but that’s exactly how it felt when I was hitting the publish button.
I almost never share my goals or projects I am working on, because one, the Indian concept of 🧿 ”nazar” & two because it’s not really anyone’s business anyway.
However, this time I had achieved a goal I worked so hard towards and I was really proud of myself.
There’s been many a time I’ve shared my project ideas mid-way with people and had instant regret. To save you & future me from that situation here’s a very interesting science-backed study I found:
In a Reed College study, researchers attempted to gauge the effect certain types of praise have on our motivation. So they divided students into 3 groups:
🧑🏻🤝🧑🏻Person praise: Feedback related to the individual. (e.g. ‘you’re good at this’)
💪🏽Process praise: Feedback related to the method taken. (e.g. ‘you’re using a good strategy’)
❌No praise: No feedback.
Each group was then asked to complete 3 puzzles.
After completing the first two puzzles, students in the person praise group received written feedback such as, “Excellent! You must have a natural talent!” Students in the process praise group received feedback such as, “Excellent! You must be using some really effective strategies!” And the third group received no praise.
The third and final puzzle was meant to induce failure, and students in all groups received feedback that simply said, “You didn’t do as well on this last one.” The first 2 feedbacks showed there was no effect on the participants’ intrinsic motivation. But after the third “failure” puzzle, results showed that, across all grade levels, person praise was less motivating than process praise.
👀Conclusion:
These results led researchers to infer that “all age groups beyond preschool appear to be more positively affected by process praise than person praise after encountering failure.”
While it’s natural for the people you love to praise you after you announce a goal or plan, this study suggests that when someone praises you for an inherent trait that you have little to no control over, it isn’t very helpful.
Further, in some cases, it may be less motivating than receiving no praise at all, particularly after you experience failure.
So, for example, if you were to announce that you want to become fluent in French, and everyone responded with person praise, such as, “Wow, you must be really smart!” and then you fail your French test, that setback could negatively affect your motivation to achieve your goal.
It’s more helpful if people respond with praise focused on your process, such as, “Wow, you practice new vocabulary every morning!”
Now we can’t really go around changing people but here’s what you can do:
🧑🏻🤝🧑🏻Is this person likely to give me “person praise”?
If so, it might be best not to tell them, or else you might feel less motivated to achieve your goal. Alternatively, if you can, ask them to praise you specifically for your processes, or just not praise you at all.
💪🏽 Be more mindful about how you motivate or praise people
Very often we “person praise” without noticing but now that you’re aware be more mindful because even if the other person doesn’t see a difference a process of praise sticks around in their head longer.
Weekly Recommendations
🎙️The pressure to overachieve
Have you ever gotten that feeling like no matter how much you do, it isn’t enough? I often go hard on myself whenever I’m doing things that aren’t traditionally “productive”. In this episode, Emma Chamberlain talks about how she deals with that feeling and how she got past it.
💰The road to financial freedom
Spending TOO MUCH is one of the most common money mistakes.
Spending money is obviously fine. The problem is when we spend money we don’t have. Looking back, most people don’t think it’s worth it to work yourself into debt.
When we overspend, it’s usually for leisure or on things we desire, but don’t really need. It’s a classic money mistake that many of us have made.
Here are 5 money mistakes that you can avoid.
🥰 Comfort Reads
Here are my 5 romance novel recommendations that would help you get out of a reading slump.
If you enjoyed this week’s newsletter do hit the heart button below to let me know. It’s the only sort of feedback I get to understand what people enjoy reading.
Have a great weekend!
Yaquta 💌